During the Pride Parade this year Gigi and I were discussing the lesbian culture while she sipped on Effen Cucumber and soda (I required her to add a mixer this year.) After reviewing the limited information I had on their lifestyle she proclaimed that she was going to become a lesbian. "I'm old and it sounds fun. Plus, I've already had plenty of men." Excuse me? Your husband passed away 3 years ago and you started dating him in high school.
Did my mother just tell me she was a teenage or even PRE-teen slut? And was she really going to start chowing box? Don't get me wrong, I have a number of lovely lesbian friends... But I don't want to go to The Closet (a well known lesbian bar) and see my mom! She's more likely to become a hag* who sings showtunes on Sundays at Sidetrack while drinking sugar-filled Slushies.
*Hag as in terms of a fag hag. If you don't know this term please click here and become educated.
She is much more of a hag then lesbian.
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